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18 January 2009 @ 03:08 pm
drabbles set 1 : tis like a cup of coffee with cream and sugar, the aftertaste that lingers  
Title: Tegoshi loves christmas
Pairing: none
Rating: totally harmless. general lol
Summary: uhm. yeah. tegoshi loves christmas >>;;
A/N: first drabble ever. short, and suck



Tegoshi loves Christmas.

He loves it with all his heart, but not the way little children do. Because he knows, finds that Santa doesn’t exist, that life is not so perfect. Yet, Christmas remains his favourite occasion.

Simply because it allows him to be a child, to go back to those days when candy was just candy and not ecstasy pills, when girls smiled shyly and ran away when chased.

He loves Christmas, because Christmas is the only day he is himself.



Title: games
Pairing: nino/toda, one sided ryo/toda
Rating: pg-13
Summary: nino likes to play games
A/N: comments please? critism is always, and i repeat, always welcomed. =D



nino likes to play games. mind games, video games...especially love games. and so it doesn't come as a surprise when ryo walks into the room one day to find two figures huddled in the corner. He squints and realizes it is nino, towering, if not slightly, over Erika, hands trapping her in a corner. And he sees the intimacy, feels their ragged breathing and feels something go missing inside him. Their mouths move dangerously close to each other, unaware of the surroundings and he wonders if he should leave.

Damn, he thinks, damn it! Curling and uncurling his fingers, his hands ball up against his side and he tries to calm down by thinking of other things, happy things. Wonderful things. But it doesn’t soothe his soul as he opens his eyes to see them kiss and disgust wrecks through his body as he strides, no, runs into the room to grab his bag. He slams the door in their face, hearing their estranged gasps and then disappears from their sight.



Title: that name isn't his and it never will be
Pairing: ryotego
Rating: nc-17 perhaps?
Summary: tegoshi doesn't know how, or when it happened. but he knows that all is gone and he doesn't know how to fix it.
A/N: might suck for it was written in the wee hours of the morning. besides, my first ever ryotego.



tegonyan. tegonyan. tego

his name coming out in whispers. he feels the wind blowing against his skin, weaving in and out of his hair.
it feels as if ryo was there. ryo's hands, big ones that engulfed his tiny ones their hands fitting each other like a puzzle piece.

tegoshi. tegoshi.. tegonyan..

whispers of the wind. they won't let him go. whisking up his emotions, hurling them into a whirlwind of confusion.
it's almost as if ryo was alive. the wind whispering his name as ryo did. his face appearing in his thoughts, invading his every sight.
it's almost as if ryo never died.

tegoshi... ne, tegoshi. let's go..
words recalled from within, their very first date. the twinkle in his eyes; ryo's tinted cheeks[he always denied it, yes. but tegoshi knew what he saw.]
the slight turn of his lips, forming a smile instead of the smirk he always carried. that was their first date. their i-love-you's and warm smiles. but that was
only the beginning.

don't look, tego. don't look back. just keep walking.
lock the doors, tego. HURRY.
don’t leave me here, don't leave me alone... please, tegoshi... please!

the starting of his breakdown, ryo's eyes that spoke of desperation. he had always complained of stalking fangirls but this- this was different.
ryo had known the enemy. he had known the person those following eyes belonged to. he never understood why ryo was so afraid, so very afraid of that person.
it was as if the enemy was a plague, a forbidden past left collecting dust over the years.

ne, tegoshi. you like me, huh? Don't you?

a question thrusted into his thoughts, the answer lingering on his tongue. yet he never said the answer. because he could never forget the look in ryo's eyes.
those eyes were teasing, jeering at him as if he were a clown; daring him to say something different. and then it was gone, as swift as it came. ryo's concerned
eyes, caring touches. how he wished that was the only thing he remembered. but no, life was a bitch. tegoshi had a good brain, a tendency to remember.
yes, he thought, life was a bitch, indeed.

but nothing had prepared him for the worst. the night he was greeted with a sight so ghastly, tegoshi had wished he hadn't been born. the only time tegoshi had cursed his
memory, unwilling to let go.

hey, aren't you HIS lover? you are, aren't you? don't just stay silent!

words that pushed at him, shoved him towards the edge. words that came out of his lover's mouth, the same ones that kissed him good night, gently, lovingly.
those lips were punishing him, questioning him, hurting him. horrified, he ran away from the house, tears streaming down his cheeks, his hands shaking uncontrollably.
there was no stalker. there was no enemy. it was only him-

... you know it, right? that there's no stalker. you know it, that I am him. that he's going mad. you KNOW it.
yes, that's right. there was only ryo. another ryo that never smiled; another ryo that never laughed. this was a ryo full of hatred, his wounds manifestering maggots.
this was a ryo he'd never known.

sometimes he praised God for a good life, a good lover, great friends. sometimes he loved living. but at that very moment, he despised his talent; despised living.
despised his every word. life was a lie. a big white lie. that was it.

a few days later, ryo was found dead in his living room, a rope around his neck. pi had cried. jin had cried. both missed a few days of work. it was devastating.
suicide, they said. too much pressure as an idol or so the media was told. but he knew.
he knew of ryo's dark secret, the one that caused his death. it was not pressure. it was not love. it was only ryo's himself, unwilling to face the truth.
unwilling to seek help. ultimately, he had walked every step to his death.

ne, tegoshi. you like me, don't you?
... you know that I'm him. don't fight the truth.

closing his eyes, he fights back the tears, fights back the emotions. he mustn't cry; he mustn't forget. letting the wind caress his face, his eyes slide shut.
he musn't forget, that he knows. but he is alive. and the memories are keeping him awake, trapping him in the past. he basks in the moonlight, the faint traces of tears
visible. he musn't forget. but he must also live.
 
 
 
hitomi♡: tegoshieightroses on January 18th, 2009 07:36 am (UTC)
OH MY GOD
OOOOHHHH MYYY GOODDDDDD
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
that last one was just amazing
absolutely bloody amazing :D :D
whats a better word for amazing? LOL
Marieginamariegina on January 18th, 2009 07:40 am (UTC)
HAHAHA YES OMG. ♥

lol, amazing huh? i actually didn't like it that much. maybe because it's my first piece of ryotego ever? :/
hitomi♡: tegoshieightroses on January 18th, 2009 07:43 am (UTC)
it was really good ♥
even if it's your first try, I really liked it :D
Marieginamariegina on January 18th, 2009 07:49 am (UTC)
you ish too nice to me ♥
慈慇ai_no_himitsu on January 18th, 2009 08:35 am (UTC)
The last one. Oh the angst DDD: But I loved the imagery of it~ Tego-nyaaaaan

LOL Nino/Erika. Somehow, that cracks me up because Dorky! Nino is stuck in my head and so Nino+Toda kissing = brain does not compute xDDDD
Marieginamariegina on January 18th, 2009 08:37 am (UTC)
I KNOW. but I am mean to ryotego, for ilove them too much XDD

lol yeah. but they look good together, don't they? ♥

ps, check the next entry i posted another fic.
慈慇ai_no_himitsu on January 18th, 2009 08:57 am (UTC)
I love RyoTego too~ They are so cute together and Ryo is such a softie when it comes to Tego tee hee :D

They do ♥
Marieginamariegina on January 18th, 2009 09:05 am (UTC)
lol, yeah. tegonyan and ryotan. i wish that was caught on tape. REMEMBER THE HALF HUG KISS IN WHY? IN THE REPORTS. I WANT FANCAM

too bad she's "into" hina. (crosses fingers that it isnt true)
慈慇ai_no_himitsu on January 18th, 2009 09:16 am (UTC)
♥♥♥♥♥ WHAT.OMG WHAT. I HAVEN'T SEEN THAT.
BUT IT SOUNDS AWESOME.

Huh??? Nino's into Okura!? Or am I missing something? *confused*
Marieginamariegina on January 18th, 2009 09:22 am (UTC)
LOL. GO CHECK NEWS JPOP FANREPOS. I WANT FANCAMS UGH. have you seen tegoshi's schoolgirl outfit kissing koyama pics? XD

LOL. ERIKA AND HINA. TODA ERIKA AND HINA. who is tons uglier than ohkura
慈慇ai_no_himitsu on January 18th, 2009 09:42 am (UTC)
I WILL :P
omg yes, I have. affhjlasjjkjk I WANT FANCAM FOR THAT TOO.

*ish confused* HINA?? Who's that? Are we talking about the same thing? xD
Marieginamariegina on January 18th, 2009 09:47 am (UTC)
XDDD LETS PRAY SOMEONE LETS OUT A FANCAM. FULL CON IF POSSIBLE.

hina from kanjani* i think its murakami shingo. from kanjani8 kmao

http://community.livejournal.com/lifesexpression/5387.html#cutid1
read and comment =D
慈慇ai_no_himitsu on January 18th, 2009 09:53 am (UTC)
OOOOH YESH PRZ xDDD

LMAO. I always thought Okura was Hina but I don't know K8 well so I might be wrong.

LOL. I'm still on the 2nd paragraph...and that was like 1/2 hour ago :P
I'm very easily distracted.
Marieginamariegina on January 18th, 2009 10:07 am (UTC)
HAHA. LET'S SEARCH FOR LAZY ASSES LOL.

ohkura is hina? no...i don't think so? :/

LOL, FINISH IT. STOP GETTING DISTRACTED.
Cathy: Double the Funcatslove17 on January 19th, 2009 12:50 pm (UTC)
The christmas tegoshi one is still my favourite.

I don't even know why.

And of course young chaste you like me don't you? love. Oh how I wish I could run around in a building surrounded by boys who want me like tegoshi wants ryo. I dig the whole meek and subtle thing. It's sincere.

And it's scary, because Nino totally is an asshole and a dick. Like a slightly more diluted (but only on the outside) version of Ryo. But how I love him so, and his games.
Marieginamariegina on January 19th, 2009 01:53 pm (UTC)
lol, and again i agree with you. maybe cause it's tegoshi? and it's christmas? :/

too bad ryo died. D: and that;s how i wish he is in rl but i doubt that he is. D:

i don't know if nino is an asshole in rl but heck, it's all up to our imagination. and nino is a certified ps2 gamer lmao. (nino and ryo are blood brothers. no really lol)